Dejected Optimism

Movin' on up!

2006-11-20T15:27:00.000-08:00

Hey All,
I think for now on if I am going to be blogging, it will be on my Myspace acount. Look me up there. www.myspace.com/chrislillpop

Question

2006-05-27T13:10:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else see the injustice and feel the pain of this world and just long for Christ to come back?

A Leader's Prayer

2006-03-27T16:01:00.000-08:00

I recently stumbled across this group of verses in college group while I was home in Colorado and they just jumped out at me...

You know my folly, O god;
My guilt is not hidden from you.
May those who hope in you
not be disgraced because of me,
O Lord; the Lord Almighty
May those who seek you,
not be put to shame because of me,
O God of Israel.
-Psalms 69:5 & 6

The thing that stuck out to me was that David, this man that was clearly a leader, was crying out to God not to put the people that he was leading to shame. He starts out confessing his sins to God and then he just asks for Grace. As I look back on the service that I have done in recent years, I notice the same prayers and scenario's. So many times God has used me to encourage his followers when my heart or my actions should have brought disgrace. Praise God for his incredible grace that has done mighty things in me and through me despite my folly. May God continue to bless us with his Grace and as we seek to serve him in ministry, may He use us to glorify His mighty name despite our shortcomings! "....May those who seek You, not be put to shame because of me"

God is working in People's Hearts

2006-03-04T01:10:00.000-08:00

Every student at Moody has a PCM (Practical Christian Ministry) that we are required to do. I, along with 3 other students, have been assigned to go to a nursing home and put on a church service for the residents. I just got back from this weeks service and it was incredible!

There is a guy named Willie and we have become buds. I got to talk with him today for a while and it was a huge blessing. Then we sang some hymns and then the preaching began. When the guy preaching said we are, "In Christ", one of the ladies that is there every week raised her voice and said, "what does it mean to be in Christ?" We started to look up a bunch of verses and attempted to explain what it was to be "in Christ". She was very clear that she did not believe that Christ came to seek and save the lost. She believes that Jesus was a good man and that he was killed and that we are only saved by obeying the ten commandments. The Holy Spirit came back with tons of verses that prove otherwise but she was firm in her beliefs. It was amazing to see God power in bringing this subject up. This lady has been coming to the service that our group has put on for at least since August and God is softening her heart and exposing the truth to her. He is doing some incredible things.

After this conversation went on for a while and the service was over, we started talking to some of the other people that were there. There was an African American lady there who had hurt her foot pretty bad and I think that she was in some pain. We started talking to her about what happened and she exclaimed to us that she believes that Jesus saved her and that the Bible is the Word of God. She then started saying that she was, "ready to go to heaven. She was ready to go home. My hands will be well and my body will be healed. I am ready to go Home!" It was so cool.

There was some other things that just had God's hand upon them so much today as well. I praise The Father in Heaven because He is working in peoples hearts today. Amen

Job!

2006-03-01T10:37:00.000-08:00

I got a Job today! it is so good. I am working at a local Allstate office right down the street from campus. I start on this friday. I am so glad and God has been SO faithful to me these last few months and I am so grateful.

Prayer Request

2006-02-21T16:13:00.000-08:00

Hey all,
I have been going crazy with school and it seems sometimes that there is not enough hours in the day. I am trying to be disciplined and do what needs to be done. On top of all of that, I need to get a job. So on Friday I am meeting with a pastor from church in the area that posted a request for a worship leader position on campus. It is a part time position and I think that it would be a learning experience as well because it is a relatively young church plant. So if you could keep me and this job in your prayers it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Freedom!!

2006-02-08T22:07:00.000-08:00

There is a problem with me and with everyone I know. We all relate to each other like we are still in bondage to sin! I live my life trying to hide everything about me that is bad. Even when I do open myself up, I word it in a way that makes it sound o.k. or not as bad. I try to make myself look "good". I hate it! We are afraid that we might look weak and not as strong or "good" as we want to be when the truth is that we are weak and that our only source of strength is in Jesus. I am so sick of my heart thinking that I am sufficient fir myself!

Father in Heaven- I pray that you would make me open with my brothers and sister's in Christ. I need freedom and I need the Body of Christ. I am weak and it seems SO hard to just trust you and trust my brothers and sisters. It is So hard because I do not want to show anyone that I are weak or that I am failing. Even though I know that we are all in sin together but more importantly, We have all been born again together. We are Free!!!....If only we trust...

God is SO good...

2006-01-28T09:52:00.000-08:00

"No guilt in life, no fear in death.
This is the power of Christ in me.
From life's first cry, to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of Hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand.
Till He returns, or takes me home,
Here in the power of Christ i'll stand."

One of the HUGESt blessings in my life here at Moody is going to Chapel every morning (well, almost every morning). There is something about worshiping with 1700 other people who are actively seeking after God to start your day. It has been so encouraging for me and God has blessed me an incredible amount through it. A theme seems to have been forming in my last couple posts. The theme of life changing hymns. These words from, "In Christ Alone" have been playing in my head for the last couple of days...

2006-01-23T12:12:00.000-08:00

"Oh to Grace how great a debtor, daily I'm constrained to be
And let Thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wonder Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart Lord take and seal it seal it for Thy courts above."

Pride

2006-01-16T17:38:00.000-08:00

I have realized something that is in my heart recently. I think you can call it pride. Pride in my good deeds. Pride in My "Christian" Life. I look at my life and I think by the worlds standards, I have lived a really good life this far. And I find myself viewing myself like that too. I see myself better than I see other people and it has scared me this week. I need God so bad in my life and I can do nothing in my own strength. Sometimes I just get SO frustrated because I don't live the way that I should and because I look at myself through the worlds eyes instead of God's eyes. If there is one thing that I learn while I am hear at Moody, I would want to learn how to get out of the church culture that I hold onto so dearly and see myself for what I truly am; A wretched sinner, saved by the mighty hand of God and not by my good deeds.

Father in Heaven- May you work in me until I die to myself and chase after you. I am made new by your sacrifice and may I live a life, looking to you for worth and not myself because you are the giver of life.

The Kingdom of God is Here

2006-01-05T19:18:00.000-08:00

I am finally getting settled in at Moody Bible Institute. Today was my first day here and I have encountered my heavenly father many times already.
Today we had a dedication service with the parents as well as the students. We just lifted this next semester and the rest of my stay at Moody up to God. God has blessed me with this place and I am SO grateful for His hand in my life. I know that God has brought me here and He has re-affirmed me of that today.
Chicago is a great place to serve and grow. I know that God has brought me here for a purpose and I am excited to find out why he has. I am excited to live in this community with my wife (see last post) and develop relationships that last forever.

Father- I give you my life. I give you my heart. Take my time here at MBI and use it to mold me into who you have created me to be. Prepare my heart for the things to come. I trust in you God for you are good. Amen

IMPORTANT

2006-01-05T19:10:00.000-08:00

On Friday December 30, 2005 I asked Kelly M. Watts to marry me and she said YES!!
We plan to get married in July of 2006.

It's Time...

2005-12-22T16:10:00.000-08:00

AAHHHHH!!!! I am moving in a week! On January 5th I start school at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, IL. It is pretty freaking crazy. It seems like a few weeks ago when I was packing up to go to Fort Lewis College. But as it turns out, that was a year and a half ago!
It is a lot different leaving this time than it was last time. I think that it will be harder to leave all of my friends than it was last time. However, I am so excited to start a new chapter of my life. I think that this is something that is SO right. Something that God has called me to. Ever since the application process started, God has given me an incredible peace about going to school at MBI. He has directed me and prepared me for what is in store.

Thank you God for your provision and your guidance. I pray that you would continue to make me more like you as I walk in your incredible mercy day by day. I need you and I thank you for your sacrifice. Use me in mighty ways. Amen

Christ's Love for His Church

2005-11-17T12:00:00.000-08:00

God has recently been reminding me of how much He loves His church. He loves His people. He loves His Bride. I have heard it said, " He has always been her husband, though many lovers she has known." What an incredible thought. I think of having a wife one day and I imagine what it must feel like for her to have "many lovers." I think that would be one of the deepest pains that I would experience in my life. Yet He continues to love.
It is easy to get burned out in ministry or even burned out on being a "Christian" because of people around us. Either they get on our nerves, or we feel like they are intruding on "our" ministry, or something else. God has revealed to me the last couple of days that He loves his church. He loves His bride. Yes, Christians are going to be selfish. Yes, Christians are going to annoy us. But...They are also loved by God and washed clean by God. He loves His church, despite the "many lovers" that we may have.

My prayer-
May we love one another with Christ's love. Forgiving each other and pushing one another to Love and good deeds. May Christ be glorified in our ministries, friendships and communities.
Amen

God is Near

2005-11-02T18:18:00.000-08:00

It so often seems as if I am alone. So many days I feel like there is no one who knows me and loves me. I went to the Chris Tomlin concert last night. It was bitter sweet. It is amazing because I sat there and I listened to Louie speak about how big God is and how small we are. He displayed pictures of far of Galaxy's that God has created. He went on and on about the trillions and trillions of stars that God has made. He spoke of the fact that God knows every single star by name. What an amazing thought! How incredible it is to think that God is SO big that He created the Heavens and the Earth. That the Heavens are trillions of Light years away. Isn't that Amazing? I walked away from that night encouraged, but at the same time frustrated beyond belief. You see, I believe these things that Louie talked about. I believe that God indescribable. I get frustrated sometimes because I feel like I do not know how to live a life worthy of my calling in Christ. The life that God has for me. I know that last night was a night that God spoke to me so clearly although I haven't heard Him yet. I feel God drawing himself to me.

God~ Let me see you clearly. I love you and desire to see you...and not just my shortcomings. Give me faith to see.

Heavenly Experience

2005-10-20T23:40:00.000-07:00

If you don't know, the love of my life lives in Chicago. I live in Denver...it sucks. But! tonight (yes tonight) I had a heavenly experience. She is home for a long weekend and tonight i was just able to sit on the couch and simply talk to her. It was great. We were in the same room for the first time in 2 months. We did not talk about something hugely significant (well thats not totally true) but it was amazing to see her heart and to her to see mine.

God- Thank you for this time to spend with Kelly. I pray that we would honor you this weekend and that you would be changing our hearts to be like yours. I need you God. I pray for more glimpses of your love and goodness. Amen

Don't Be Afraid

2005-10-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to Derek Webb lately. On one of his CD's he talks about community and talks about how we, as christians, so often measure our spirituality by how little we can make our sins look to others or even ourselves. Derek says that we so often trade in sins like cursing or indulgence for sins that are easier to hide from each other such as pride. I sit there listening to this and I see it so true in my life. I see myself afraid to share my sins or shortcomings with even my closest friends with fear that they might think that I am not Godly. I am so afraid of being exposed. Psalms 90:8 says, "You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your presence." Our sins have already been exposed to God!!! Christ came to set us free, not for us to live in fear of being found out. Yet this is SO hard to do.
I feel dejected because of my sin...yet there is a sence of optimism because He is faithful. I know this because He lives inside of me. Christ in me, the Hope of Glory.

The Real Deal

2005-10-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

Isn't it crazy how fast the year goes by?